The topic of highly sensitive children has long preoccupied me, but I didn't know there was such a beautiful term for it: "orchid children." This term was coined by the Swiss developmental psychologist and international specialist in high sensitivity, Michael Plüss.

I lived in the Chinese metropolis of Shanghai for a year with my then 3-month-old daughter. I observed how children suffered from the constant noise and the constant light and smell stimuli. Some of my friends were surprised that their children were constantly restless and fidgety and were already suffering from sleep disorders.

With BABYDUFT natural aromacare, I wanted to create something that would help these children cope in this fast-paced, noisy world. Some are more successful at it, while others struggle. Ingredients like mimosa aren't included in BABYDUFT by chance; who hasn't heard the saying: "They're just a little bit of a wimp."

Crybaby, wimp, softie

Highly sensitive children are often called crybabies or wimps, or boys are called wimps. Because a casual remark immediately brings tears to their eyes, or they can dwell on a casual comment from a schoolmate for days .

For some highly sensitive children, for example, the classroom alone contains a flood of stimuli that is difficult to bear. Sounds, smells, moods , and touches create a cocktail that these children have to digest after leaving the room.

"Orchid children" need a lot of care and love

It's important for highly sensitive people to be given the opportunity to protect themselves and retreat, because they have no walls, no boundaries . The world, so to speak, invades them . Applying a protective body oil in the morning can help create this barrier and set boundaries. I've had particularly positive experiences with St. John's Wort , which is contained in our protective oil from the Stay Healthy line.

Highly sensitive children rarely encounter understanding. Psychological problems primarily develop in those highly sensitive children who grew up under stressful circumstances. As already mentioned, the Swiss developmental psychologist and international specialist in high sensitivity, Michael Plüss , coined the beautiful term "orchid children."

"Children who grow up in a caring, supportive, and helpful parental environment are like orchids: in difficult, unfavorable conditions, they quickly perish, but with proper care, they develop into beautiful, magnificent flowers."

The same characteristics that made children susceptible to negative experiences disproportionately vulnerable also made them disproportionately benefit from positive ones , says Michael Plüss. A meta-analysis from Utrecht University confirmed this. The researchers found multiple pieces of evidence that while orchid children suffer disproportionately from the negative effects of harsh parental behavior, they also benefit disproportionately from parental care.

How do you know if a child is highly sensitive?

Not every child who reacts sensitively or cries from time to time can be classified as highly sensitive. However, if your child finds noises such as the rustling of a napkin in a restaurant, the quiet scratching of a pencil being sharpened, or the squeaking of a shoe sole when walking very disturbing, it is possible that they are part of the approximately 20% of highly sensitive people. Smells also play a big role : many highly sensitive people have very sensitive noses and can smell, for example, day-old water in a flower vase. Others, on the other hand, cannot stand scratchy clothing labels or never wear socks. Crowds of people, overcrowded public transport, or school trips are torture for most highly sensitive people.

"A highly sensitive person distinguishes stimuli in ten variants, a less sensitive person perceives about five or perhaps only two variants."

Elaine Aron, American psychologist.

A second characteristic is behavioral inhibition. This is evident, among other things, in the fact that highly sensitive individuals tend to observe and wait in new situations before becoming active, for example, by joining someone at a table. Or they withdraw when something might be threatening or even harmful. According to Aron, this has evolutionary biological causes. This "calm vigilance" is nothing other than a survival strategy , similar to the one we know from the animal world.

Whether positive or negative, highly sensitive people experience both much more intensely than normally sensitive people.

The third characteristic is sensory sensitivity . Highly sensitive children have a higher activation sensitivity of the nervous system, meaning a lower threshold at which a physiological reaction is triggered, whether it's excessively bright light or disharmony in a relationship . Even if the child wasn't involved in a situation, but merely witnessed it, they feel as if they were there.

Does high sensitivity go away again?

High sensitivity doesn't diminish or weaken over time. However, experts agree that parents who frequently praise a highly sensitive child and encourage them to test whether their fears are justified have a positive influence.

Elaine Aron puts it this way:

"Over time, the child's perception of the world will no longer be as frightening as his nervous system conveyed it in earlier years. His creative traits and intuitive abilities will unfold, and the difficult aspects may fade somewhat, provided the right strategies for dealing with them have been found.

Impaired quality of life due to high sensitivity?

“She/he should pull herself together.”

Parents of highly sensitive children often hear this phrase. Sometimes even from one parent, because they lack understanding that their son or daughter is struggling to follow educational guidelines, finish by a certain time , and study for an exam without parental help. This is an incredible strain on the family.

It is very difficult for parents to find explanations for the “strange” characteristics of their highly sensitive children, and so many mothers and fathers look for the fault in themselves and their upbringing .

Anyone who finally finds out that the child is probably highly sensitive can breathe a sigh of relief.

“Being aware of this is a relief because you finally know what’s going on,” explains Brigitte Küster, author and director of the Institute for High Sensitivity.

It also becomes clear: it is not oneself or one’s own actions that are to blame for the difficulties, but rather a particular personality trait.
But this relief is just the beginning of a journey that involves shaping life for yourself and your child in a way that allows them to feel right, realize their potential, and feel valuable. "This path isn't easy, especially in a fast-paced, noisy, and performance-oriented society that is generally shaped by people who don't have this predisposition," says Brigitte Küster, who is highly sensitive herself and the mother of two highly sensitive children.

High sensitivity can be a gift

Highly sensitive people exhibit a multitude of talents and strengths that aren't immediately associated with this term. "Highly sensitive people have a very keen sense of interpersonal tensions , analyze themselves and others very precisely and deeply, and are highly valued for their empathy and compassion ," explains Brigitte Küster . High sensitivity is also a gift: "A treasure of great meaning and depth, if you unearth it."

Furthermore, highly sensitive people are characterized by a high level of conscientiousness , they are quick to detect subtle differences and have a pronounced creative streak.

In other societies and cultures, such as Japan or Sweden, these traits are highly valued, says Elaine Aron, the US-based high sensitivity expert. "Because our culture values ​​assertiveness and strength, the personality trait of being highly sensitive is viewed as something difficult to live with or that needs to be cured."

How can peace be made with this uniqueness?

"In addition to the shy, introverted highly sensitive individuals—they make up around 70 percent—there are also the extroverted, outward-looking highly sensitive individuals ," explains Brigitte Küster. The latter, in particular, a minority among highly sensitive individuals at around 30 percent, are even more difficult to identify than the introverts. "They are people who like to exert themselves, constantly overtax themselves, but quickly become exhausted," says Brigitte Küster.

“It’s normal to be different.”

Richard von Weizsäcker, former German Federal President.

Because: High sensitivity means nothing other than being different . There is still a lack of widespread awareness of this very specific difference. Even specialists – doctors, psychologists, and educators – often lack in-depth knowledge of this complex phenomenon. Some experts even reject the diagnosis itself.

It is important to take the child seriously , to understand that they perceive certain things differently and that they need support and a lot of love .

As I mentioned at the beginning, I've been exploring this topic for a while and have had very positive experiences with aromatherapy . Highly sensitive people respond very well to this type of therapy because the sense of smell is linked to the brain and immediately triggers a feeling.

Our protective oil from the Stay Healthy line can help you set boundaries and protect yourself from external influences.

If you would like to read more on this topic, you will find information, books and links below.

All love

Ursula

Links on the topic of high sensitivity